Training, Eating and Stress (Oh My!)

Thank you, again, to everyone who watched my episode of Fat Chef on Food Network and who reached out with kind words, support and love. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and affection for each and every one of you.

So, on with life! I have two large fitness goals coming up. The first one is the Batavia Triathlon on June 10, 2012 and the Fox Valley Half Marathon on September 16, 2012.

I am especially excited to participate in the Batavia Triathlon. I think of last year and all of the fears I had surrounding the event. This year feels so different. I’m still anxious about the actual event itself. A triathlon is damn hard no matter how in-shape you are but I have come to realize that I have to change the way I think about participating in it. Last year I was all about finishing. “I just want to finish,” was my mantra. And finish I did…dead last. I didn’t care at all that I was last. Well, I did care for a little bit when I doubted whether I could keep moving on towards the end there, but my focus was just FINISHING.

Bringing up the rear! Batavia Triathlon 2011.

This year, I need a new focus. I am at a different level, physically and mentally, and I need to focus on improving my performance in the race. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any delusions of grandeur here, but I do want to perform well. It’s not about being the Big Girl Triathlon Finisher anymore. I am not diminishing that experience at all – I was over 260 pounds when I finished that triathlon and that was one of the proudest moments of my life. But now I have to focus on the next level of health and fitness for me; improving form and results. Chris, my trainer, is helping with this. And by helping I mean he is completely up my ass commenting on and correcting every move I make, which I am grateful for (most of the time).

My trainer Chris with me at my final weigh in for Fat Chef. Don't let the pearly whites fool you, he's a beast. P.S. how awesome are my shoes?

The half marathon scares me. The last time I ran a half marathon, I completely stopped running afterwards  because it was a terrible experience. Again, I am a totally different person this time and am approaching it differently but I’m still scared. And being scared makes me stressed and being stressed makes me want to eat buckets full of ice cream.

I’m not eating buckets full of ice cream (or buckets full of anything for that matter, Hello! Portion control!), but I still have to work every day at managing my stress and emotions and not using food as a tool for that. Stress also inhibits weight loss which is a super fun conundrum! I’ve been working with my therapist about this and my obsession with getting below 200 pounds. She basically told me that in the past, whatever goal I have set for myself I’ve achieved within the timeline I set for achieving it. I’m frustrated because this goal of getting below 200 pounds isn’t happening fast enough for my liking and the stress over obsessing about it is hampering the weight loss. Isn’t that a nice little vicious circle? So, instead of focusing on getting under 200 pounds as a goal, she wants me to focus on goals that have more immediate results (like improving my running speed or my form in Bootcamp class) which will have a by-product of weight loss. I can stop obsessing with being below 200 pounds and focus on improving my results for both races. Hopefully a win-win-win situation.

Now, if I can figure out how to eat buckets full of ice cream without gaining weight…oh well, a goal for another time.

P.S. Still keeping my Lenten promise of no alcohol except for the night after my episode of Fat Chef aired. I got special dispensation from the best Catholic at my table that night (thanks, Liz) to celebrate with a couple (ahem, 5) glasses of wine. I had some friends come out to celebrate with me and my best supporter (and the cutest guy I know).  

Day after show airing party. Aside from really being able to see my weight loss in this pic, I really love it because my bra is showing. My husband is a lucky, lucky man.

 

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