22 Minutes

Wow! Where to start?

Well, this really about sums it up.

This was my calendar today...how appropriate...

I am so happy that the show finally aired and that I made it through. Like I said before, I wasn’t scared of how I would come across in the show. I was 100 percent me the entire time. Yes, I could have lived without some of the eating montages (and close-ups) but it was real and it was who I was at the time. I was worried about reliving some of those very hard moments, especially the scene at the Dairy Queen in Merrillville and the meeting with the celebrity “nutritionist” JJ Virgin because, aside from my dad dying, those were truly two of the hardest days of my life.

I have received so many incredible emails, Facebook posts and Tweets and I will get to them all, I promise. I just wanted to get this blog out because I wanted to make some comments about some of the scenes in the show while it is still fresh in my bursting brain right now.

A before and after (who is that girl on the left?)

Now, you have to realize that I was filmed every week, sometimes twice a week, for four months. That equates about 1000 hours of footage that was whittled down, very well I might add, by the editors at the Food Network to 22 minutes. I can’t even begin to imagine the enormity of that task and frankly it makes me so overwhelmed just thinking about it. There are so many things that happened that didn’t make the cut that I wanted to point a couple of them out here.

But before I do that, I just have say…Is my husband the most adorable person you’ve ever seen, or what? He is unfailing in his support and love for me and I am so glad the world got to see our love, our friendship and our bond. That first scene of him getting choked up was amazing. I love him so much.

This picture cracks me up, and is so us. L.O.V.E

Okay, so…

1. I’ve said this before but the key to my transformation from a Fat Chef to a Fit Chef was because of going to therapy. Robert and Chris (my trainers) were, and are, both amazing people and teachers. Even JJ Virgin, while definitely not on my Christmas Card list, had an impact on me. But nothing compares to the healing I have done through therapy. I will continue to encourage people who are struggling with obesity, especially long term obesity, to get therapy. It has completely changed my life. I am still going regularly and will continue to do so. Unfortunately, they did not show or talk about my therapy in the show, which is understandable, but I thank Robert every day for encouraging me to make this part of my treatment.

2. My support system made of my husband, family, friends, work colleagues and students was pivotal to my success. I think the show did a great job portraying that but what you saw was truly just the tip of the iceberg. Unlike some of the other chefs on the show, I never had to contend with people trying to sabotage me, people being upset when I chose working out over work or social activities or just people generally being unsupportive. From my husband to my boss, everyone was 100 percent on board and 100 percent supportive. I have the best people in my life and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

3. One of the comments I have received a lot is that people were very interested in my job. I am so used to teaching Culinary and it is such a huge part of my world that I forget how unique it is. I love my job. I love my students. And I am so fortunate to work for a place and do the kind of work that I do which allows me to feed my passion and do a good deed at the same time. I’ll say it again…I love my job. And I’m so glad that the world got a glimpse of how amazing it really is.

If feel sorry for whoever I was giving that look to in the before pic. My sisters call that "the look."

4. The crying. Oh, the crying. I am an emotional person (Really? Thanks Captain Obvious!). I’ve been that way since I came out of the womb. Every emotion I feel...happy, sad, mad, frustrated, etc. makes me cry. It is the one thing I truly don’t like about myself, but hey, it is what it is. I just wish I wasn’t crying in EVERY scene. But whatever, it was real. It was hard. And I cried. A lot. A dear friend once told me that crying is watering your garden. It has to be done. She is right.

5. Another comment I have been getting a lot is that people are so glad I stuck to my guns about not spitting out my students’ food. Robert is not a chef and he didn’t get it. He gets it now but there was not a snowball’s chance in hell that I would have ever spit out my students’ food. I respect them too much to do that, plus it’s gross. I’m no dainty flower, but spitting is disgusting. I thought the compromise was good. Yes, maybe it will take me a little longer to reach my goal weight because of it, but I am more conscience of it now and I take steps each day I teach to work out a little longer and harder (and take the goddamn stairs).

6. A lot of you did not love JJ Virgin. I did not love her either but one of the things she taught me that wasn’t shown was that I have to live this life all of the time. I decided to be the Fit Chef and I needed to start acting like it. She made me realize that it’s okay to ask people to cook healthy for me and that I can cook healthy for them with no excuses. I need to live this life 24/7 and she was right. For that, I thank her. For making me bawl about not having children (and they cut out the worst thing she said which I won’t repeat), well, she can suck it.

So, there you have it. To celebrate the airing of the show, I woke up this morning and ran a 5K at 5:30 a.m. I thought it fitting to just be who I am and do what I would normally do. Even if the buzzing in my head didn’t stop until about 1:00 a.m. 

After my run this morning...it felt great! Cold and early, but great!

I really want to thank the Food Network for this incredible opportunity. I said in the show about the old Eastern saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come,” and I truly believe that. I was so ready for this change and when the opportunity to participate in the show came to me, I knew I had to take it. It is no coincidence that Robert Brace, Chris Hylton (local Batavia trainer), my therapist and even the production team were all of the right people to be my teachers, supporters, cheerleaders, shoulders to cry on and my inspirations. I was ready for them and they appeared.

I love the musical Wicked and there is a song from it called, “For Good.” It perfectly sums up how I feel about everyone in my life who has been on this journey with me:

“I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better…

Because I knew you... I have been changed for good”

Thank you to all of you too for always supporting me, putting up with my rambling blogs, encouraging me on my workouts and being my friends. xo <3

NOTE: A special thanks to Sarah Laubenstein from Evolve Hair Suite. She is my stylist and friend and did my beautiful hair for the finale. Thank you, too, to Ericka Porter, who was a producer on the show and makeup artist extraordinaire. She did my makeup for the finale and I am so blessed that I can call her a friend. Also to Zo, Justin, Jason, Kenzie and Rob who were the production team on my journey with me. They are the best and I’m proud to call them friends. Lastly to Sue Doebler, my running buddy and my web designer. My beautiful web site she designed for me will be up soon: www.fitfoodiechef.com.