Physical Therapy

I'm back in physical therapy. No, not that kind. I AM RUNNING AGAIN! I go to a psychologist every two weeks to do my mental workout, which always helps me stay focused on my goals, and I believe that physically working out is just another kind of therapy for me. Yes, it makes me strong and helps me lose weight, but it really does lower my stress level and make me feel so physically and mentally WELL. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? I guess I spent so many years feeling crappy (and not realizing it) that until I knew what it really felt like to feel well, I didn't know what I was missing. Well, I know now and thankfully I am able to run and do bootcamp again! Hooray!

Doing my "Yay for Running" cheer on the running path!

I went out for my first run yesterday and did just around 3 miles with my running buddy, Sue. Then I went out again this morning and did 4 miles on my own. Both times I walked a little, ran a little (but ran more than walked) and I was just so happy doing it. Don't get me wrong, it was hard as hell. My legs felt like lead, my breathing was terrible. Allergies, asthma and crazy warm weather probably didn't help that much but I still felt so happy to be running.


People always tell me, "I wish I loved running like you do." I don't love the actual act of running. I love ice cream. But I love what running does for me and that's why I persevere through every step. Listen, you don't have to love it to do it. I love how I feel afterwards and that makes it worth it. None of us are going to do anything that's not worth it. Not for long, at least.

And it doesn't have to be running. It can be anything...swimming, biking, bootcamp. I try to do it all, not just running. Running combined with my bootcamp class has been the key for me with my weight loss. That along with my therapy. But just because it works for me doesn't mean it will for you. You have to find something that you'll stick with and that works for your life. If it's doing workout videos in your basement at 4:00 a.m. before your kids are up, then do it. If it's doing an Ironman Triathlon, then do it. Whatever lights your torch, you know? Just do something!

If you do want to try running,  I recommend doing a Couch to 5K program...that's how I started! There are great free ones on the internet if you like to do it on your own or you can join a Walk to Run program, usually offered through your local running store, to join others who are doing the same thing. It's up to you and how you like to work out. I used to hate running with other people because it made me mental. Now, I look forward to seeing my running group every week and seeing my weight loss support group friends in bootcamp. I have some of my best work outs with both of them. It took me a while to get there, mentally, though. Once I got past the feeling that everyone was judging me (which they weren't, I was just judging myself.)

Now it's fun to run with friends!

So, in addition to getting my sweat on again (who knew I'd ever long to be my sweaty, red-faced, huffing mess that I am when I work out) I am working really hard to continue logging my food and get the last of this weight off. I've decided to work on losing 30 more pounds which will take me down to around 180. Once I make it there, then I'll reassess. When I first started this journey, I was looking at losing over 100 pounds. Boy was that daunting. Now that I am down 60, I am going to work on the rest of it in chunks, to get off the chunk. It seems less daunting that way and hey, when I get down to 180, I might just decide that I am actually happy there and then work on maintenance. Wow, I can't even imagine. But then again, I couldn't imagine half the stuff that I've accomplished in the last year. What's 30 stinkin' pounds? 

Please hold my calls while I slowly go insane...

Jack Torrance. Travis Bickle. Alex Frost. Annie Wilkes.

What do these characters and I have in common?

The slow descent into madness.

Mine isn’t fueled by manipulative ghosts, insomnia and violence, obsessive love or being any author’s number one fan. No, my lunacy is caused by no running! NO RUNNING! NO BOOTCAMP! NO LIFTING ANYTHING HEAVY! AGH!

See, I had this little surgery almost two weeks ago. I wish it was something glamorous like a tummy tuck (oh yeah, I’d do it if I could afford it…damn tootin’ I would) but in reality it was a blocked fallopian tube that I needed (in my doctor’s words) “roto-rootered out.” Pleasant visual, no? We’re trying to have a baby, as you well know by now, and this is hopefully going to help that plan.

So, for the greater good, or rather the sweet-little-baby-powder-scented-good, I had this surgery done. I can’t run, lift weights, do bootcamp or lift anything more than 20 pounds until next Wednesday. That’s next Wednesday as in 7 days, 8 hours and 30 minutes from now. Not that I’m counting or anything.

So. Here I stew in my own psychosis.

Who would have thought that a year ago, when I was cursing every time I squeezed myself into two sports bras and ill-fitted workout clothes that I would be longing (and I mean loooooonging) to strap on my running shoes and hit the pavement?

Mentally. Physically. Tight-Pants-and Crabby-Attitude-ly Crazy. I need to fucking run. Pardon the French. Annie Wilkes would call me a dirty-birdy and hobble me for that. Then I really wouldn’t be able to run for a while.

Anyway, those of you who see me on a regular basis, please excuse my nuttiness. And if I start talking about all work and no play makes Jenny a dull girl, well, call in the reinforcements.

In the meantime, I will walk endlessly on the treadmill, dreaming of sweating up a storm in bootcamp (my God, do I really miss doing an hour of bootcamp), and try not eat like the Titanic is going down.

I won’t boil any bunnies either. Well, unless I’m teaching rabbit in meats class.