Not-So-Fat Chef

I am coming down the home stretch (for this leg of my journey at least). It's my last week of filming for Food Network's Fat Chef program which airs January 26, 2012. I got a little more info about my episode (each episode features two participants). I will be the last episode (air date TBD still) and the promo for my episode is:

Episode 6 “John/ Jen” John Ricco is a 33 year-old obese pizza shop owner from Brooklyn with a bad habit of binge eating the greasy, fattening food he makes every day. Jennifer Lamplough is a severely overweight culinary instructor and cookbook author whose problem with portion control and emotional eating has wreaked havoc on her body. Both chefs are ready to take back control of their health and lose 25% of their weight in sixteen weeks. With the help of Christine Avanti (John) and Robert Brace (Jen) can they relearn their relationships with food, or will old habits die hard?

Here is the commercial for the show (you can see me kissing my husband for a nanosecond right at the very end):

I have my final weigh in this Sunday and "Finale" filming and then I am back to normal life. Which is a new normal for me. My new normal is working out six days a week, eating a healthy diet and working on my mental and emotional issues, which are the main reason I got to where I was in the first place (more to come on all of that).

My weight loss has been great so far but I still have a long way to go. So, I've decided that my finale day isn't a finale as all, but a commencement. My new beginning to a healthy life and (God willing) parenthood.

The idea that this journey I am on will be on TV for the world to see is...well...um...scary as shit. Imagine experiencing the most vulnerable moments of your life, then having to watch it on TV, edited for entertainment value! Now, don't get me wrong, I know exactly what I signed up for and am more than grateful for this experience...I can't even express in words how grateful, but I am still so scared to watch it. The cringe-worthy moments will be plentiful, I'm sure (and entertaining) but I can't apologize, ever, for who I am, what I said or how I acted. I was completely me and completely real through the whole process. Sweaty, cursing, crying, laughing real.

And speaking of getting real, here is my before picture (you'll have to wait for the "after" picture when my episode airs):

I hope that you will watch all of the episodes of the show to support my fellow participants on their journey. I don't know nor have met any of them, but we've been through this together and I hope and pray for them that their lives have changed as immeasurably as mine has.